Last month I published my 9th Annual Holiday Gift Guide for Lawyers containing more than twenty great gift ideas for lawyers. I search for months to find the right gift ideas just for lawyers. However, each year I stumble across items that defy societal gift-giving norms, yet are just too darn unique and funny not to share. So here are the items considered and discarded from my gift guide. Remember, these are not official suggestions. These are not in my Holiday Gift Guide for Lawyers just a few inches down the screen from here. Nope, not there. Give them at your peril (even if you are laughing all the while.)
Not exactly the right party game for your Christmas holiday gatherings, the Russian Roulette Water Balloon Gun would be a sure hit at your lawyer’s next Jimmy Buffett concert tailgate party. Lock and load, Parrotheads!
Speaking of Buffett concerts, PocketShots are a great stocking stuffer for the busy lawyer. Good for sporting events or a beach party, these flexible packets of tequila, vodka, brandy, and gin will sure come in handy! Available at select stores nationwide.
The thing about flatulence filtering underwear is that you might know someone who needs them, but can you really give it as a gift without raising a stink? Would that person be the butt of stupid jokes? Created by a scientist from England, Shreddies are designed to eliminate. . . well, you can find out the science behind these unmentionables on your own. For men and women!
Want a tattoo but hate the permanence? Would you like a real tattoo that can be changed with your mood? Introducing the MoodINQ Programmable Tatoo System that uses an encapsulated ink to allow for repeated tattoo modifications. Religious designs, hearts, dragons, and shopping lists are now possible with this breakthrough system. Everything is included except the dermatological “canvas” that needs to be surgically implanted on you prior to using the system by the plastic surgeon of your choice. From ThinkGeek.com
Walking Dead TV shows and zombies are all the rage, so why not extend the theme to bowling? Yep, zombie bowling balls. Imagine the delight on Christmas morning opening a gift box with this inside! Which reminds me of the old adage--Just because you can, doesn't mean you should!
My first impression when seeing the wireless ear buds from Greenwing Audio was "Wow, I want those!" No more wires, no big ear pads, just big sound in a small wire-free package. Then I thought "What if one of these pops out of my ear like my corded ones do--oops, no more bud! Well, I guess I'm not the only one who thought that--this idea failed to generate enough investors on Kickstarter, so no wireless ear buds this year!
Imagine the looks you'll get when the lawyer in your life opens his new SteamPunk Monster Statue! I mean, what lawyer wouldn’t like this unique metal artwork adorning their book shelves or desktop? Yeah, ok, not that many, but you know who you are! Starting around $1,000 from KreatWorks (on Etsy.com).
This Human Organ Transplant lunchbox is wrong on so many levels, but don't put it past a clever lawyer from using it for more than just lunch!
So that's all that's fit to print, although I may have already crossed that line. Remember, I didn't suggest any of these gifts for lawyers--I take no credit or blame should you decide to take one of these roads less travelled!
In any event, Happy Holidays!